On why my day was soooo productive

10:45 - Computer mouse freezes, followed by the keyboard

10:53 - Have restarted computer 2 times

10:59 - IT guy shows up with new keyboard

11:00 - Explain there is something wrong with the computer, not the keyboard

11:01 - Get blue screen of death with the phrase "fatal system error"

11:13 - Leave to run errands

11:43 - Park at 30 min meter downtown

11:51 - Get copy of marriage certificate to change name

11:53 - Decide not to feed the meter because it'll be real quick

11:54 - Joke with the security guard. They take my phone.

11:55 - Presented with 4 options to sign in at social security office: 1. Have an appointment, 2. Social Security benefits, 3. Lost card, 4. Other reasons.

11:56 - Choose option 4 and get assigned number A186

11:57 - Realize I didn't bring my birth certificate or social security card. Hope I don't need them. Try to call Ben to see if he could look it up. Realize that security has my phone.

12:01 - Ask another couple there if they think I need my social security card. They think I do and should fill out that form on that table over there.

12:06 - Number A185 is called. Rush to finish form

12:08 - Finish form as A186 is called.

12:09 - Get told that I selected the wrong option when I signed in and was waiting in the wrong line. Get re-queued. Also get told that all I need is my drivers license and marriage certificate. Not sure if I believe her.

12:12 - Parking meter runs out. Decide to go feed it.

12:13 - Explain to security that they can keep my phone - I'll be right back.

12:15 - Go through security again. This time they take my mace. Decide I don't have that much stuff and should not keep going though security.

12:17 - Get back in waiting room. Hope that they didn't call my name.

12:19 - Notice all the interesting people. Government offices bring all of us together no matter how rich or poor. How nice.

12:20 - Watch some lady get really frustrated with waiting. She sighs loudly and crumbles up her number, slams it in the trash can and storms out. The rest of us hope that means we can get to the window sooner.

12:25 - Start to worry that my meter is going to run out again. Wonder how much a parking ticket would be. Decide it is probably more than the $4 parking lot I passed up for street parking.

12:30 - Lunch break ends and 3 more office workers show up.

12:31 - The couple who suggested the form to fill out gets called.

12:33 - The couple gets frowned upon because she's not a US citizen and didn't bring the correct paperwork. They are told to wait some more.

12:36 - The lady calls 190. Then 191. Then 192. Someone gets excited until they realize that they hold A192. The lady calls 192 again, I think just to be cruel. Then 193. She then stops calling numbers for a while.

12:38 - The lady calls my name.

12:40 - My name is officially changed. There is no fanfare or cheers. It is decidedly anticlimactic.

12:42 - My meter runs out.

12:44 - Get ignored by the guard who has my cell phone

12:45 - Still get ignored by the guard. See a police officer checking the meters near my car.

12:46 - Rudely and loudly ask for my phone. Get mace as well.

12:47 - Run outside, jaywalk and get in car before the officer gets to my car.

12:48 - Leave with a new name and no ticket. Success!