Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Lots of Changes

A lot of things have happened recently.

My mom passed away this month.

Sometimes it doesn't seem real and other times it seems way too real.

My uncle put it well - after 4 years my mom won the battle with cancer and stepped into Heaven.

The hope we have in Christ is what is getting me and my family through this. The hope that God's word is true and that He has restored her. The hope that this is not the end, but just another phase of my Mom's life. It's a hope that God has reaffirmed many times that now it feels more like a confidence than a hope.

I am going to try and blog again. It helped me process things when my mom was diagnosed and I think it could help me process things now.

I've realized that through all of this I am seeing people's humanity, to some extent, for the first time. I think going though this pain has opened my eyes to the hurts around me. It's easier to listen to people more. Probably at some point it will get easier to talk too.

I started counseling again yesterday. It didn't fix everything, but I think it will help me walk through this grief.

Even though this is so hard, God keeps showing me how He is using it. He's pretty good like that. I can't wait to see what He will do next.

For now though it's one day at a time.


Rae said...
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Rae said...

I'm so glad you decided to blog again Andi! I was hoping you would. I've lurked your blog off and on since you started blogging.

I like what your uncle said. Right after your mom died I woke up in the middle of the night thinking the idea of "battling with cancer" was a bad phrase. Since your mom loved Jesus, she didn't loose any fight, she won.

You and all of your family are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Rachel Winkler

Amberly said...

I love you kid...and I am praying for you. : )

beck said...

Oh Andi, I'm so sorry.