Today I almost died. Lately Ben and I have been tired and I've been getting headaches. These couldn't have been related to stress or lack of sleep, no, there must be something more.... After a quick Google search today I determined that it probably was Carbon Monoxide (CO) poisoning. Sure our house is so leaky and drafty we can't even keep heat inside, much less CO, I was convinced that this had to be the cause.
Once the possibility of CO poisoning entered my brain it would not leave. I NEEDED a CO detector. We needed one right now or we may die in our sleep. Never mind that a snow storm had just moved into Ohio. Never mind that we were at a level 1 snow emergency. Never mind that I came home early to work from home because the roads were so bad. We NEEDED a CO detector.
I did what any good wife would do. I made Ben bundle up and walk with me down to the hardware store to buy a CO detector. Yes we walked in the snow to the hardware store because I needed a CO detector. Right now! We also needed to stop on our way back at Walgreens, UDF, and the Taco Truck. I mean we were right there! Ben is so patient.
We got home, and I quickly read the instructions, and plugged the CO detector in the wall. Within 2 minutes the alarm started screeching (which I have to say made me feel justified in our trek in the snow). Apparently 85 decibels is really, really loud and alarms do not make me think rationally. I started yelling at Ben to hit the reset button, Ben was yelling at me to figure out what the alarm meant, I was yelling back that the instructions said to MOVE TO FRESH AIR AND CALL 911!
Because you know, the emergency crews had nothing else to do this snowy evening.
Finally Ben took the alarm out to our back porch where it promptly turned off. We figured it was because there was no CO out there (it's WELL ventilated) and there was CO in our house which makes it a deadly, brain-frying gas chamber that we just paid a whole lot of money for ahhh!!!!
Actually no. Ben read the instructions more thoroughly than I did and found out that there are two types of alarms on this detector:
1. A steady screech that will make you wet yourself; and
2. An alarm sequence that goes on for 4 beeps and then off for 5 seconds.
Which one do you think alerts you to the power going off and which one alerts you to deadly gas? If I designed an alarm I would make the ear-bleeding, 85 decible, screech an alert to DANGER GET OUT NOW! and the on and off again alarm a gentle reminder that the power is out and you are no longer protected against CO poisoning.
But no one asked me when they designed this alarm. This alarm will screech at you so loud that the neighbors can hear, when it loses power. Because that's what I need to hear when my power shuts off - a really, really loud alarm.
When you are close to death all it will do is beep at you. Seriously? That's the best alarm for that situation? What the crap, Kiddie Alarms? What the crap?
So apparently the outlet we plugged it into has issues. That was it. We weren't close to death, or brain damage. We just got to add "fix the outlet in the bedroom" to our to-do list. Pretty anti-climatic huh?
I don't think that I should have to go into work tomorrow. I almost died tonight you know...