Dear Fellow Drivers,
You are the reason that my insurance premiums are so high. It is you and your crazy driving. I am not sure I can take it any more. I kindly ask that you please start staying inside your lane, using turn signals and stop cutting me off.
I know that sometimes there are more important things to do than drive. Like that time you had to eat that sandwich with both hands or the ice cream you needed to eat with a SPOON. Obviously those are a higher priority than watching the road while driving 80 mph, but do you think that you could maybe stop text messaging while driving?
I must admit that you are stylin' up there, all alone, in your Chevy Suburban. I envy your hauling capacity and extra head room; my small Miata cannot compete for your space on the road. I just ask that you not take your space on the road out of where I am driving. Maybe look before you merge into me. Or try using a turn signal. I'll get out of the way.
We are all just trying to get to work, school or home safely. I promise I'll stop chewing you out in my head if you will stop playing wack-a-mole with my car. Deal?
Your Friendly Neighbor,