Wednesday, June 13, 2007

More Free Advice

Really I need to stop giving advice this good away. So get this free advice while you can... the price is about to go up.

Do not drink apple juice that has been sitting in a hot car for 1.5 weeks. Even if it is sealed and you refrigerated it and it looks nice and inviting. Don't drink it. And if you do take one sip, stop after you realize it tastes slightly "off". Don't keep drinking it thinking, "the next sip will taste better." It won't, and after you've consumed the entire 10 ounces, your stomach will protest. You'll be dry heaving in the bathroom wishing you could just throw the poison up.

Especially don't drink this tainted drink the day before you get married. It will cause you to start freaking out that you gave yourself food poisoning and are going to have to postpone the wedding AGAIN. This will only make you feel sicker.

If you do decide to drink bad apple juice the day before your wedding, make sure you are marrying the most understanding guy in the world. This way when you call him upset that you feel sick and want to leave work, he'll just laugh a little and say nice calming things to put you at ease. This will make you feel instantly better.

But, since you can't marry the most understanding guy in the world, because I am marrying him, you should just stay away from questionable apple juice.

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