Wednesday, September 05, 2007

How to make a long day longer

Or how to make the most frustrating skillet meal ever.

1. Start with a long day. Preferably one where you get home late and start cooking dinner after 6, you know, that time when you normally EAT dinner.

2. Start with this recipe:

Mexican Vegetarian Skillet Dinner

Serves 6

6 cups peeled and cubed russet potatoes

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups chopped onions

1 cup green bell pepper, seeded, de-ribbed and chopped

5 cloves garlic, pressed

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

1 14.5-oz. can diced tomatoes, drained

3/4 cup frozen whole kernel corn

1/3 cup sliced Kalamata olives

3 corn tortillas, cut into 1-inch strips or "noodles"

3/4 cup shredded low fat Cheddar cheese

Sour Cream, for garnish-OPTIONAL

Fresh cilantro, chopped-OPTIONAL

Cook potatoes in water for about 7 minutes; drain and set aside. Potatoes should be firm, not mushy and not hard.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium heat; saute onion, bell pepper and garlic until onion is translucent.

Add cooked/drained potatoes to onion mixture and continue to cook until potatoes are tender. Add cumin and salt and pepper to taste. Stir for about a minute, then add tomatoes, corn, olives and tortilla "noodles"; reduce heat, cover and simmer for about 5 minutes.

Remove from heat, add cheese and garnish with chopped cilantro and sour cream, if desired. Serve.

3. Ignore the ingredients you don't have like corn and cheese. Also ignore the ingredients you don't know what they are, like, Kalamata Olives.

4. Peel potatoes. Ignore the fact that the recipe called for cubed potatoes and just cut them in large chunks. Drop several chunks on the floor and want to cuss.

5. Cook potatoes.

6. Chop up other veggies. Also drop some of these on the floor.

7. Forget about your new large skillet and cook veggies until the onions are clear in your smallish skillet.

8. Add cooked potatoes and cumin, salt and pepper. Realize 4 things:
1. the skillet is still way too small.
2. the recipe called for six CUPS of potatoes. Not six POTATOES.
3. the recipe called for five cloves of garlic. You added one. And one more at this point.
4. that this recipe is only spiced with cumin and salt and pepper and will probably taste like cooked butt.

9. Tell Husband that dinner probably won't turn out and he should eat out.

10. Add tomatoes (fresh not canned because...ewww), and tortilla strips.

11. Cook for 5 minutes to create the most bland Mexican dish ever. Also, have no idea how or willpower to want to spice it up.

12. Survey the small, messy kitchen.

13. Toss bland crap out.

14. Let kind husband make you a sandwich.

15. Eat on couch while watching bad T.V.

In conclusion: don't make this recipe. It's not so good.

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